Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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