That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
