why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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