i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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