i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
