He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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