He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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