Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
