If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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