How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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