he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
