ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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