69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
