I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize