It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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