Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
