I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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