I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
