I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
