You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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