It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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