For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
