Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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