Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize