Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
