so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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