you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
