I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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