i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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