I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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