Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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