So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
