I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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