My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
