Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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