oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
