her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize