Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
