did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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