what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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