yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
