Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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