her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
