To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
