And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
