is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
