Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
