i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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