so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
