if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I will pee on everything he values.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Panties = found
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
