Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
