It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
