I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
