So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
