Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
