you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
two words: eviction party
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize