I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
