I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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