Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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