my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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