You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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