i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize