It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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