Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
