you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
