When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize