Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
