she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
