Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
