M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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