I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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