Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
