You work out of a Hotel?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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